The fear of 'not getting the memo' (notes on fasting/media diet)

I decided to 'fast' from social media on Wednesday November 6. It seemed like a good day to conduct my media diet, since I have been tracking my social media use during the weekends up until now. I thus wanted to find out what difference it would make to be aware of my social media use on an ordinary weekday including lecture/class and everyday planning.

I sort of cheated within the first three hours...

It turned out to be very difficult, since class (Dynamic Web Design) started by developing through Facebook's Graph API. We had to login on Facebook in order to get the information we needed for the exercise. Only three hours after beginning my media diet, I thus already sort of 'cheated'. I however chose to go through with the media diet, since the developer's tool doesn't let you access your user interface as such. I didn't get to see any notifications or my News Feed; typical social features I go to when wanting to 'check up on Facebook'.

A few hours later, I was asked to copy/paste a piece of code from my computer to another - and the easiest way would of course be via Facebook or email. When realizing this, I began considering alternative ways of sharing the code - and it seemed a bit silly, since a quick share on Facebook would be so much easier. The least 'social' way of sharing, I ended up concluding, was via a mobile harddrive (USB).

Expectations met

As expected, I had no problems keeping my hands and eyes off my smartphone. Since I only have very few apps installed, I rarely use the device for more than calling or texting. When purchasing my first smartphone, I actually decided not to install the Facebook App, as I knew it would become a part of my social media routine. To this day I haven't installed the app. And I probably will not, since I feel quite 'liberated' from not having to check up on social media all the time while being 'on the run'.

What I also expected was me having a hard time keeping hands and eyes off the screen at home. During my social media tracking I found out that home is where I most often go to Facebook. My use is relatively structured and limited to my stationary computer. Thus, when being around it, I had a hard time not clicking the Facebook bookmark or any other social media bookmark. It seemed a lot more natural to do so than not to do so.

"Why do you want to go on Facebook right now?"

Not only do I use Facebook for updating and practically planning. I also use it for private conversations with friends, networking professionally and as a tool for making myself 'visible' online. However, this was what I was answering when I asked myself: "Why do you want to go on Facebook right now?". Also, and this sort of frightened me a little bit, most of the time I was unable to answer my own question. Why  did I want to go to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc.?

The emotions emerging from media fasting would be: Frustration, boredom, loneliness and annoyance. I was frustrated about not being 'allowed' to do what I felt like doing (e.g. checking up on Facebook). Whenever bored I found out that social media was my absolute first 'go-to'. All of the sudden I needed to either prepare some more for my next class - or I needed to simply sit down and read a book. Am I really that closely entangled in my social media use that the only alternative popping up in my head is: Book reading - the old-fashioned way?

"How am I supposed to communicate with people [...] Do I need to VISIT them at their houses!?"

At one point (about halfway through the media diet) I started thinking about the (social) consequences about being offline. What if someone made an appointment without me? What if something important was written somewhere - and I didn't know about it? What if something huge happened on Facebook, and I would be the last to know? Even though it seems a bit silly, I actually felt a touch of loneliness at one point; what if I was the only one not knowing about something and thus the only one not being part of something? The feelings of frustration, boredom and loneliness led to a general annoyance. During the fasting, I dotted in my research journal: 

• "What is the purpose of this stupid fasting?" 
• "How am I supposed to communicate with people, if I'm not allowed to either email them, call them, text them or write them a message on Facebook? Do I need to VISIT them at their houses!?" 
• "I haven't announced my media diet. I wonder what people are thinking. Are they wondering about my absence, questioning if everything is okay? Or even worse (actually): Have they noticed at all? And if they haven't: Am I the only one feeling this important socially online?" 
• "Do the fasting really need to last for 24 hours? Won't less do? What if I feel as if I 'get the point' by now" (after 15 hours of fasting) 

The entire experience on 'fasting' got me thinking about a time, when I had no internet connection for almost two weeks. Even though it wasn't nearly for as long a period of time, some of the 'memories' came back to me during fasting. Back when the lack of internet wasn't a choice but an actual technical problem, it was so weird that I felt so shielded from everything and everyone; not being able to answer (important) emails at home - and having to sneak up at the University on my day off(!) to check up on online events. I felt so silly sitting at a random location within the reach of the University's Wi-Fi - but also (and even more): It felt necessary.

The 'aftershock'

The morning after my media diet had expired I quickly went online to get up to date (in fact, I used my smartphone to go to Facebook, even though I do this very seldom, since I haven't installed the Facebook App, as mentioned). But something struck me. It seemed as if I only skim-read the status updates in my News Feed. I even left a few status updates - and a couple of group notifications - un-read, when logging off. It would be an exaggeration to say that the media diet has changed my social media behavior. However, the short period of 'un-plugging' sure did make me think about my massive use of social media that I engage in on a daily basis.